


One Last Sin

by FuniFuni



Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: 9S Needs a Hug, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Gathering Keepsakes Sidequest, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Route C spoilers, Sad, Suicide, The Main Quest Doesn't Exist, Threats of Violence, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:21:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26457115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FuniFuni/pseuds/FuniFuni
Summary: 9S can't come to terms with 2B's death, but instead of revenge, he has something else in mind.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	One Last Sin

Seeing 2B impaled on her own blade made 9S' blood boil with rage. He had never wanted pain to overtake someone's face just as much as he did then. Had never wanted to tear each limb off of someone's torso as much. Had never wanted to _kill_ someone as much. He wanted to claw A2's intestines out from her stomach, he wanted to fill her body with bloody and gruesome holes made by his blade, he wanted to see her cry and hear her screams. Imagining the feel and scent of her blood on his skin and clothes was repulsive. But _knowing_...just knowing that that blood would flow from wounds he himself had created, that it was A2's liquid pain...it was just so satisfying.

And he was so close! So very close to murdering that _traitorous bitch,_ to seeing her blood splatter across the ground and her mouth contorting around hoarse screams. But his plans got interrupted when the slight tremors from seconds before had turned into a full blown earthquake, sending white pillars into the sky around him. 9S could barely hear the noise of rocks falling into the valley below him. His shouts of fury and hurt, the blood pounding in his ears, that was all he could hear. A2's face all he could see.

The bridge gave out before he was across and he was sent plummeting.

He didn't quite remember how it happened, but one second he was awake, conscious and screaming and _angry_ , the next, he was out cold, blackness all around him.

Two weeks later, his systems were online, repaired completely. Popola and Devola had patched him up and a few weeks before, he would've been thankful. Now..? There was nothing left for him. No Bunker, no purpose, no _2B._ Why couldn't they have just let him die?

Not even his rage was with him anymore, leaving him empty and numb as he wandered into the center of the Resistance Camp. He stood there for a few long moments, trying to think of where to go next. For the entirety of his life, he'd had a clear mission to complete and higher ups to give him his next one. Sure, he'd dreamed of having time off from all that, spending a relaxing day with 2B, but now that he finally got that "off day"...he hated it. He absolutely despised not knowing where to go next, what to kill next, what to talk about next with 2B. Even if his purpose was fake, even if the humans really were extinct like he thought...he'd give anything to have that all back.

His pod had repeatedly tried to get his attention, but he had zoned it out. Only when a new voice—deeper and definitely an android's—met his ears did he snap out of it, eyes lifting from where they were staring vacantly at the ground. The owner of the voice was a man, part of the resistance. A dark hooded cloak kept the sun from his eyes as he swayed slightly in his seat.

With slow, dragging steps, 9S brought himself to the man's seating area.

"What is it?" He meant for the words to come out as snappy, irritable, but instead they came out weak and tired.

The man didn't seem to care how his words sounded, replying in a worried tone of his own, "Have you seen these folks, perchance?" He held out four crumpled photos of other androids, none of which looked familiar.

"Nope, sorry," 9S said.

The man went on to explain himself, telling 9S that they were part of his squad but that he had lost contact with them. He wanted to know if they were dead, so that he could mourn them properly. Unable to search for them himself because of broken motor functions, he was left unknowing.

9S pitied the man. Each time he had lost contact with 2B he had been overridden by panic and fear. These people were important to the man, just like 2B was to 9S and he wouldn't wish being ignorant about their deaths on anyone.

And maybe this quest would keep his mind off of things.

9S tasked himself with the search of the bodies and the retrieval of mementos willingly and he took the long way towards the Flooded City.

He found the body right away, stashed right at the side of the crumbling highway, but didn't go check up on it right away. Instead, he busied himself with tearing apart every mechanical lifeform in the area.

The hum of the battle didn't fulfill him as much as the pain did. Getting hit by stinging red-purple projectiles felt like acid on his artificial skin, but it cleared his mind. Getting flung back by a massive machine arm was like a well-deserved punishment.

After clearing out all the machines, clothes dirty and torn, 9S returned to the dead body at the entrance of the Flooded City. He didn't even bat an eye as he took the rusty dog tag from around its owner's neck.

His pod set the next locations on the map and he took off to them to repeat the same actions, feeling just as empty as before.

_Maybe,_ he pondered, taking the next dog tag at the Amusement Park, _killing A2 will make me feel better._

He knew it wouldn't though. The thought brought him no other joy than the thought of being killed himself. Killing A2 wouldn't accomplish anything. His anger at her was gone, killing her wouldn't bring 2B back. But his anger at himself was growing. He should've never let 2B send him away from her, he should've found her sooner, he should've _saved_ her. Because of his failures, she was dead. He would never hear her voice scold him, never see her smile, never get to hold her in his arms, never again.

By the time he got to the last Resistance member, buried in sand, his motor functions were glitching and his NFSC was on the verge of shutting down. He kept tripping over the dunes and receiving more tears in his clothes and skin from the desert-dwelling machines.

The Goliath Tanks surrounding the last body were disposed of with some tiring hacking.

9S didn't care much if he died there, to the tanks, but he had a promise to keep to the man who sent him on the quest. He hated breaking promises.

Almost two hours later, he stumbled into the Resistance Camp with the four dog tags jingling in his pocket.

The man now had a bundle of flowers at his feet and he didn't seem surprised when 9S told him of his friends' fates.

9S handed him the dog tags and the man took them gingerly, rubbing the dirty metal between his fingertips.

"Thank you," the man murmured. "Now I'll just place these flowers with them..."

"Flowers..?" Why would he choose to do that of all things?

"Ah, yeah. I'm just imitating an old ritual," the man explained, placing the dog tags into a pocket of his own. "The human race had many traditions when it came to mourning their dead. I know it may not mean much to us, but..." He was silent for a long moment. "Well, I just want their souls to find some peace. That's the wish I'm putting into these flowers, at any rate."

The man thanked 9S again, confessing to his relief at his own weakness, and rewarded 9S handsomely. The prizes were just meaningless weight in his palms, however. The knowledge he had gained was far more hefty.

As he left the camp, ideas blooming in his head, he muttered, "A tradition of mourning the dead...2B..."

Emil had a field of breathtaking flowers, perfect for what he planned to do. And Emil didn't spend much time there anyway, so 9S didn't think he'd mind.

The trip there was empty, pace at a slow walk. The animals paid him no mind and even the machines seemed to think him so pathetic that they never laid a finger on him.

On his way, he found a short, squared wood post under a section of highway and took it with him. He brushed off the dirt and bugs that had made their home on it. It would do well as a grave marker. If only there was something better, something even a fraction as beautiful as 2B was, but this would have to do.

9S came to the bridge. The bridge where it all happened. It must've been rebuilt in the two weeks he was being repaired and now looked as though nothing had happened to it. It swayed in the breeze like a boat on the waves, frustratingly ignorant to the world.

Was he truly the only one who bore the scars of all this?

He made it to the middle of the bridge before it all became too much. He could now see with perfect clarity the rocks still stained with 2B's blood even if her body was gone. Could see her blindfold stolen by some nearby bushes with the help of wind. Remembered every little detail of the death of 2B. A2 standing over her with hardly an emotion on her face. The bloodied blade of Virtuous Contract. The last time 2B would ever call him "Nines".

His breathing came out stuttered, hands shaking. His eyes couldn't tear themselves away from That Place. His mind couldn't stop replaying the scene over and over and over and over again. His own personal torture. He wanted to cry, but no tears would come. He wanted to scream, but his voice was stuck in his throat.

Would he die if he threw himself off this bridge? Or would he just be fished out again?

"Proposal: Unit 9S should continue to his desired destination."

The robotic voice of his pod snapped him out of his thoughts and he took a shaking breath. In, out. In, out. Clenching his hands into fists, he strode across the rest of the bridge and plucked 2B's blindfold from the bushes, not giving the bloodstained rocks another glance.

Stepping into the shopping center, he couldn't help remember the promise he had made to her. That T-shirt, that world of peace, that day of relaxation...all meaningless. Nothing really mattered anymore.

A bitter smile stretched his lips, there in an instant and gone in a flash, and he entered the elevator down to the Lunar Tear field.

In the wait, he tied the edge of 2B's blindfold to the wooden post, rubbing the cloth between gentle fingertips when he was done. This would be the last time he would be able to touch something of hers. He pressed the untied edge to his nose. The last time he would be able to smell her scent, even if there was no variation between hers and anyone else in YorHa. The knowledge of the finality of everything made something deep inside him ache. Ache for something that he would never be able to have, memories that were impossible to achieve. The thought _burned._

The elevator doors rattled open and 9S stepped out before they could close again. He couldn't help but be awed at the sight. The sheer amount of Lunar Tears would always be stunning, no matter how many times he laid his eyes upon them. Maybe that beauty would make up for the not-so-beautiful grave marker.

He began speaking, voice disturbing the calm silence like a gunshot. "I'm not quite sure what it means to mourn, or even if we have a soul to concern ourselves with..." He came to the center of the field, piercing the ground with the wood, blindfold facing upwards. His fingers couldn't help but give one last longing caress to the fabric. "But I hope you're at rest, 2B. Sweet dreams. I'll be with you before long."

Mission completed...it could be over at last. No more pain, no more longing, no more 'what ifs'. As much as he wanted to curl up within the lovely hold of the flowers, he knew he couldn't. He couldn't taint her resting place even if her body wasn't here. It would be too selfish of him; 2B wouldn't want him to be selfish.

So he left.

His pod kept asking him what he was doing, what was his objective, but he kept on ignoring it. Its voice turned into droning white noise, almost not there at all.

His feet brought him back to the blood-tainted stones, only fitting. This was where everything ended. For what 9S was concerned, the moment 2B died, he died too. He didn't deserve to die in a better place than her.

"Proposal: Unit 9S should state his intentions—"

"Shut up, Pod. That's an order."

No more sound came from the pod, not even as his fingers slid back the skin-disguised covering on his neck that led to his plug-in chips.

There was no emotion anymore. No anger, no sadness, no eagerness to die. Just emptiness. The time for emotions had passed. This would be his final duty to the world.

Fingers hovered over his OS chip.

_I'll see you soon, 2B._

And he pulled. He never felt his knees hit the ground.

**Author's Note:**

> Got this baby out right before school starts. Yay... But it was fun writing this. Got to take a detour from all the fluff I've been doing recently and go back to my angsty roots. I send good luck to all the students out there dealing with remote learning and for everyone else, sanity and happiness in these times. I hope you all have a great day/night!


End file.
